Nine.

I'm no longer mourning the loss of leaving Japan. I've gone through the five stages of grief:

1. Denial and Isolation.
   At first, we tend to deny the loss has taken place, and may withdraw from our usual social contacts. This stage may last a few moments, or longer.
2. Anger.
   The grieving person may then be furious at the person who inflicted the hurt (even if she's dead), or at the world, for letting it happen. He may be angry with himself for letting the event take place, even if, realistically, nothing could have stopped it.
3. Bargaining.
   Now the grieving person may make bargains with God, asking, "If I do this, will you take away the loss?"
4. Depression.
   The person feels numb, although anger and sadness may remain underneath.
5. Acceptance.
   This is when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off. The person simply accepts the reality of the loss.

And now, I'm finally at a place in my transition where I am excited about where I've been and where I'm going.

I have a job, people.

A J-O-B. Let me tell you how awesome God is: I was hired at one of the best charter school systems in NYC, KIPP (Knowlege is Power Program). In July I will be starting as the Theatre Arts teacher for their brand new High School, KIPP College Prep.

Let me recap: I got a job, during a recession, in the arts, teaching my passion, in NYC.

Redamndickulous.

I'm excited, and can't wait to actually be IN the city. But that won't be for a while. In an effort to be an adult, I've decided to stay at my folks place in Jersey and commute into the city for work. (Wait! Hear me out.) That way I can SAVE money for a few months, so I am able to move into the city and do it right. I haven't lived at home in over 10 years, so it's taking some getting used to, but it helps to remind myself that this is in fact a season, and an investment in my future. I especially have to remind myself of this when dealing with my mother. A woman who I could devote an entire blog to.

So that's me in a nut shell right now. Joyous over a new job, planning my great escape from New Jersey and getting my exercise on.

Now that I've emerged from post-Japan cocoon I'm ready to get my blog on again. So buckle up, yo. The ride starts now.

Between 7 and 8.

Jenna: Dear Baby, I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for 20 minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look at your face. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight, without an ounce of selfishness in it.

Say It With A Song - Vol. 9

Lost Ones by Lauryn Hill

It's funny how money change a situation
Miscommunication leads to complication
My emancipation don't fit your equation
I was on the humble, you - on every station
Some wan' play young Lauryn like she dumb
But remember not a game new under the sun
Everything you did has already been done
I know all the tricks from Bricks to Kingston
My ting done made your kingdom wan' run
Now understand L. Boogie's non-violent
But if a thing test me, run for mi gun
Can't take a threat to mi newborn son
L's been this way since creation
A groupie call, you fall from temptation
Now you wanna ball over seperation
Tarnish my image in you conversation
Who you gon' scrimmage like you the champion
You might win some but you just lost one

You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one

Now, now how come your talk turn cold
Gained the whole world for the price of your soul
Tryin' to grab hold of what you can't control
Now you're all floss, what a sight to behold
Wisdoms is better than silver and gold
I was hopeless nowI'm on Hope road
Every man want to act like he's exempt
When him need to get down o his knees and repent
Can't slick talk on the day of judgement
Your movement's similar to a serpent
Tried to play straight, how your whole style bent?
Consequence is no coincidence
Hypocrites always want to play innocent
Always want to take it to full out extent
Always want to make it seem like good intent
Never want to face it when it's time for punishment
I know that you don't wanna hear my opinion
But there come many paths and you must choose one
And if you don't change then the rain soon come
See you might win some but you just lost one

You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one

You might win some but you really lost one
You just lost one, it's so silly how come
When it's all done did you really gain from
What you done done, it's so silly how come
You just lost one

Now don't you understand man universal law
What you throw out comes back to you, star
Never underestimate those who you scar
'Cause karme, karma, karma comes back to you hard
You can't hold God's people back that long
The chain of Shatan wasn't made that strong
Trying to pretend like your word is our bond
But until you do right, all you do will go wrong
Now some might mistake this for just a simple song
And some don't know what they have 'til it's gone
Now even when you're gone you can still be reborn
And, from the night can arrive the sweet dawn
Now, some might listen and some might shun
And some may thinkg that they've reached perfection
If you look closely you'll see what you've become
'Cause you might win some but you just lost one

You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one
You might win some but you just lost one

You might win some but you really lost one
You just lost one, it's so silly how come
When it's all done did you really gain from
What you done done, it's so silly how come
You just lost one

Say It With A Song - Vol. 8

Breathe Me by Sia

Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Hurt myself again today
And, the worst part is there's no-one else to blame

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found,
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Be my friend
Hold me, wrap me up
Unfold me
I am small
and needy
Warm me up
And breathe me

Say It With A Song - Vol. 7

Today's anthem:

Live Your Life by T.I. feat. Rhihanna

Say It With A Song - Vol. 6

Today's anthem:

The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face by Roberta Flack



The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the empty skies, my love,
To the dark and the empty skies.

The first time ever I kissed your mouth
And felt your heart beat close to mine
Like the trembling heart of a captive bird
That was there at my command, my love
That was there at my command.

And the first time ever I lay with you
I felt your heart so close to mine
And I knew our joy would fill the earth
And last till the end of time my love
It would last till the end of time my love

The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the empty skies, my love,
To the dark and the empty skies.

The first time ever I saw your face, your face,
your face, your face